When hiring and leading a team I have been always been attracted to people with a strong intrinsic motivation to succeed. In our business, Ambition, we recruited to our cultural values “no dickheads, no passengers” and as our name suggested, ambition, or motivation, was a key selection requirement. However it didn’t always guarantee results and I realised sometime later that it is mental discipline that is more likely the key. Someone who works in a disciplined methodical manner and adheres to smart routines and habits is more likely to be more successful more often. Obviously the two together are a compelling combination.
I was therefore interested to read a recent perspective on the relative merits of motivation and self-discipline, by Kevin Hilton and reproduced in the excellent Lifeoptimizer. It’s a long post but well worth the read.
MOTIVATION VS SELF-DISCIPLINE – WHICH IS THE KEY TO HABIT FORMATION?
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit,” said Aristotle.
And in the realm of habit formation, motivation and self-discipline are the most recognizable players.
Some tout self-discipline as the elixir for improvement, while others rally behind motivation as the way to make progress and enjoy the process. And you’ll also find people that pit the two against each other. But do we have to pick between them?
To get to an answer, let’s take a closer look at motivation, discipline, and the roles they play in habit formation.
A Closer Look at Motivation and Why People Crave It
Let us first look at the definition of motivation:
“A person’s desire or willingness to do something.”
Feeling motivated about a project or personal goal can only do you good. Motivation is the fuel that propels one to go to the gym and exercise for the first time. It’s what drives a late waker to get up at 5 AM. It’s what rouses the procrastinating writer to pen over 2,000 words in one sitting.
Brian Tracy once said:
“The hardest part of any important task is getting started on it in the first place.”
But when you’re oozing with excitement and enthusiasm, getting the ball rolling becomes a breeze. Even better, you may even exceed expectations during the first week or two into a project.
Many people crave motivation. And why not!? Few things in life are as satisfying as feeling pumped to make progress and actually making progress.
However, relying on motivation alone to carry you through can backfire. Why? Because it is based on emotion. And we know how fickle and unpredictable emotions can get.
Your reasons for exercising, reading, or writing may stay constant. But your desire or willingness to carry out the tasks you’ve set will waver one way or another. Let’s check out a few scenarios where a motivation-based approach to self-improvement can boomerang.
The First Scenario : Jerry got up early in the morning, just feeling pumped to hit the gym. This isn’t his first attempt to develop an exercise routine. But he’s feeling super motivated today, and perhaps this rush of enthusiasm can make the difference, yes?
Day 1 went well. His goal was to workout for 30 minutes. But he went the extra mile – doing squats, crunches, and push-ups for a little over an hour.
Days 2 to 11 were identical to the first day. Jerry was overflowing with motivation, and he surpassed his goals every time. He’s already feeling stronger and fitter!
But the 12th day came with an unpleasant surprise.
He received an email from his boss rejecting his leave request, and this means a beach getaway with his clique is out of the question. Just when he was getting ready to show his fit bod, Jerry realizes he would be spending hours in his workstation while his buddies are partying by the shore.
Upset and disappointed, Jerry skipped the gym.
Day 13 came, and Jerry was feeling guilty about missing the previous day’s workout. He knows he needs to go to the gym. He knows the perks of staying fit. But his emotional state is in shambles, and he can’t talk himself into getting motivated.
The cycle of missing the gym and feeling so bad about it that he misses yet another session continues. And Jerry isn’t getting closer to achieving his fitness goals.
The Second Scenario : Danielle is a freelance writer, one who loves to procrastinate about writing if I may add.
Whenever the time to write comes, she gets busy with emails, social media, cleaning tasks, and the list goes on. Yes, she gets her writing projects done in the nick of time. But only after spending sleepless nights a week before the deadline.
This time, however, she attempts to turn her career around. Danielle commits to spending the first 2 hours after breakfast on writing for her clients.
Day 1 was full of inspiration. Danielle’s hands can hardly keep up with the ideas pouring from her brain. And before she knew it, she’s created a complete outline, researched related references and studies, and wrote 2,875 words for her client’s ebook. A massive success!
Day 2, however, was a stark contrast to the previous one. She can’t seem to find the muse to inspire her to start writing. She wrestled with ideas. She thought long and hard. But Danielle just can’t get started.
Danielle’s level of motivation seesawed for weeks and so does her productivity levels. After a month, she stuck to her after-breakfast writing routine in only 11 out of 20 days.
She’s not developing the consistency she wants. She’s not writing often enough to finish projects faster so she can take on more clients. And worse, Danielle’s routine may fall by the wayside if something emotionally unsettling comes up.
The Third Scenario : Kevin is a budding blogger in the business space. But between his professional and personal responsibilities, making the time to build a brand and grow a blog is proving difficult.
But his desire to take his blog off the ground is strong, and he committed to an early morning blogging routine.
For the next 21 days, Kevin’s motivation was sky high. Kevin got up at 5 AM, took a bath and breakfast, and worked on the blog from 5:45 AM to 7 AM. He networked on LinkedIn, wrote blog posts, and engaged with people on Twitter.
Kevin started seeing success. His blog’s traffic had a small but noticeable increase. His network is now a little wider. And his Twitter following has grown by the dozens in the past 21 days.
But after 3 weeks of inspired and meaningful work, he stopped as if snatching failure from the jaws of success. The enthusiasm and strong desire to work, which Kevin came to relish, ran out all of a sudden. Without the feel-good emotions, blogging early in the morning doesn’t sound appetizing.
You’ve probably experienced the same dip in levels of motivation just when you’re generating momentum. Why does this bizarre turn happen? Shouldn’t accomplishing a day’s task make us feel better and compelled to do more?
The answer takes us back full circle to emotions and their nature.
In his book The Laws of Emotion, Dutch psychologist and professor Nico Frijda laid down the law of habituation and said:
“Continued pleasures wear off; continued hardships lose their poignancy.”
Excitement, desire, willingness – these positive emotions one feels in anticipation of a task are fleeting, lasting for only 3 to 6 weeks. As the task becomes a habit, people lose the emotional attachment, and they see work for what it is – work.
So Is Motivation Bad?
Far from it!
How can feeling good and making impressive progress on a goal be bad!? However, motivation is a sprinter. It can help us finish short-term projects fast and strong.
But when undertaking long-term endeavors or developing good habits, strong and positive emotions can only get you started. To get through the long haul, you need discipline.
The Unappealing Image and Unbeatable Advantage of Self-Discipline
Self-discipline refers to:
“One’s capacity to control his or her feelings and inclinations in pursuit of what aligns with their values.”
Do you see the night-and-day contrast between motivation and discipline? While the former relies on one’s desire and willingness, the latter uses grit to do what needs to be done regardless of one’s emotional state.
Self-discipline is the number one ingredient for success
Michael Jordan practiced and trained every day to be
the Michael Jordan.
Chess grandmaster Wesley So became the world no. 2 without a coach, but only after focusing on his training and turning away from the internet.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart trained intensively from a young age.
And by age 10, his skill as a composer rivaled most of his old and established peers.
You can bet that these highly successful people have had their fair share of bad days. On some days, getting out of bed to train must’ve felt like scaling Mt. Everest. And you can be sure they’ve thought of ditching practice for more fun and less demanding pursuits.
But they didn’t, most of the time. Yes, these fine folks sure have fallen prey to temptations and distractions more than once. However, they didn’t let guilt and negative emotions paralyze them and their progress.
But here’s the catch:
Strengthening your resolve and self-discipline is anything but easy.
Developing Self-Discipline Feels Uncomfortable
Head over to Amazon’s book section, and you will find the Motivation and Self Help section stocked with over 89,000 books. As for self-discipline, the topic doesn’t even have its own section, and a search yielded only 8,700+ books
You can see the same trend in Reddit. The Get Dicsiplined subreddit only has 206,806 members, while the Get Motivated subreddit boasts more than 10 million subscribers!
And when you go to YouTube, finding videos of rousing speeches is easier than finding videos on how to develop self-control.
What’s up with the lopsided preference for feeding motivation rather than getting disciplined?
Because developing self-discipline is uncomfortable.
When you’re motivated, getting started on a project or task is easy. You’re excited. You’re pumped up. And decisive action is the logical follow-up.
When strengthening self-discipline, however, you’re not enthusiastic about a task.
Maybe you feel neutral. But most of the time, you’d rather do something else like watch TV, chat on Facebook, or play video games – anything that’s more fun than the task at hand. And you have to do what you’ve set out to do anyway.
In simpler words, it feels uncomfortable.
You Will Have to Endure Crappy Emotions for a Long Time
What does a writing practice, a thrice-a-week gym routine, and a nightly reading habit have in common? These productive behaviors take an awfully long time to become a habit.
In a 12 week study involving 96 people researchers found that it takes exactly 66 days before a new behavior becomes a routine.
Ultimately, you want your daily tasks to become daily routines.
Going back to Nico Fridja’s law of emotion, a behavior becomes devoid of any emotional attachment after enough repetition. The euphoric feelings of motivation disappear, and so does pain and exertion necessary in habit formation.
Unfortunately, the positive emotions run out faster than the uncomfortable ones. And the latter can persist for twice as long.
You Will Fail on Some Days…Guaranteed
Look at the following self-talk:
“Aw, crap! I missed yesterday’s workout. I can’t ace my goal 100%. The red dot will look terrible in my progress tracker. I failed big time. Maybe I should just start all over again next week so I get another shot at 100% win?”
See how that escalated quickly?
I’ve had the exact conversation with myself a few weeks ago, and I almost let the guilt destroy my progress. I had to wrestle with the negative self-talk so I can bounce back the next day.
One is bound to fail on some days on his or her quest for self-discipline, and a few mental wrestling matches are inevitable.
You must always look at the bigger picture. The goal isn’t to achieve 100% score on your smartphone tracker, but to get better in whatever aspect of life you’re focusing on.
Otherwise, the feelings of failure and guilt may lead you to stop your own improvement.
But Keep in Mind
“It gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day. That’s the hard part. But it does get easier.”
The pains of positive habit formation through self-discipline persist for quite a while. But they will disappear. Sure, they still crop up from time to time. However, since the new behavior has become a habit, controlling the urge to hit the snooze button or skip a daily task becomes way easier.
How to Combine Motivation and Self-Discipline for Better Results
We’ve already seen motivation and discipline – from their definitions to the advantages and disadvantages they bring. Yes, they’re like night and day. But did you know that these two are actually best friends?
Instead of pitting the two against each other, the following steps will show you how you can use both to power through your habit formation goals.
Start With Small, Manageable Daily Goals
Sabotaging your efforts by setting standards and goals that are out of your reach is the last thing you want to do. Instead, go for small and manageable daily goals.
Instead of saying “I will write for 2 hours every day,” set a 30-minute writing practice in the morning.
Want to get fit and muscular? Don’t go for the toughest workout program you can find on the internet. Start with 10 pushups/day instead.
Yes, 10 pushups/day won’t turn you to a modern-day Hercules. But starting small brings a couple of advantages. First, it reduces the perceived difficulty of the task, which is handy when motivation runs out.
Next, small tasks still help you build the self-discipline you will need to take on bigger goals. And last but not the least, you can always “up” the duration or difficulty of your exercise, writing, or reading routine when you’re ready.
Ride Out the Motivation Wave
The first 2 to 3 weeks of habit formation are often filled with motivation and excitement. And you’d do best to ride out that wave. If you feel like exceeding 30 minutes of focused writing, go ahead and write for as long as you’d like. Take this as an opportunity to make massive strides towards your goal.
But always remember:
Sitting down to work and getting things done won’t always feel exhilarating.
So savor today’s victory. Enjoy being motivated to achieve targets you’ve set for yourself. Just remember not to get addicted to it.
Don’t Kill the Motivation
Did you know that telling others of your goals, the new habits you want to form, or the positive changes you’re planning makes them less likely to happen?
You see, these announcements are often met with congratulations or a handshake followed with praises. And these social acknowledgments trick the brain into thinking that you’ve already hit your target.
The motivation to move forward plummets.
This phenomenon has been studied numerous times – from 1926 to 2009. And the results have always been the same. People who tell others their goals lose their drive and are less likely to achieve their vision.
We already know that motivation is fleeting. So why not keep it around for longer by staying silent and letting the results speak for themselves? 😉
Expect the Tough Days Ahead
At one point in your quest for self-improvement, motivation will run out.
Like in the scenarios in the motivation section, a bad event might leave your emotions in shambles. Your enthusiasm for the task may fluctuate. Or your mind may grow numb to the pleasures of getting things done.
You have to mentally prepare for the inevitable low-motivation days. Always keep in mind that those days are normal and that your emotional state shouldn’t get in the way of progress.
This will take willpower. But since you’ve set small and manageable daily goals, your self-discipline and control are less likely to be overwhelmed.
Reward Yourself and Renew Your Willpower
Self-discipline and willpower are like muscles. They also need a break after long bouts of exertion. Here are some tried and tested to recharge your mental batteries:
Mindfulness Meditation – A few minutes of meditation every day can boost one’s willpower by building up grey matter. Note, too, that the increase in grey matter happens in regions of the brain associated with decision-making and emotion regulation.
Get a Good Night’s Sleep-Sleeping soundly for 7 hours at least, can help keep your prefrontal cortex in good shape. This region of the brain is essential for self-discipline as it deals with handling emotions, processing complex thoughts, and solving problems.
Reward Yourself. So you kept up your exercise routine for a week without skipping a beat? Good job! Now, go out and reward yourself. See a movie, take your spouse on a date, or dine at a new restaurant. Just make sure you’re munching on something healthy.
Rinse and Repeat for 66 Days The journey towards positive habit formation and self-improvement requires cycling through these steps.
You’ll feel motivated sometimes and you would want to use the positive emotions to overachieve. On other days, emotion runs low and getting started on a task requires self-discipline. And when you’ve powered through a week of tasks using willpower, you will want to take a break and recharge.
But after the roller coaster ride lasting for 66 days, the new behavior becomes a habit. It becomes a part of you. And performing tasks, which used a lot of mental fortitude will feel as easy and natural as breathing.
Congratulations! You just transformed yourself for the better.
Original Post from Mental Toughness Partners